Writing this blog is like having a dream that you’re naked walking through the center of town. It’s a completely vulnerable experience. In fact, I have had a few people tell me that the blog is “raw”. They said they could never write such a thing. No kudos followed those comments. Just simple statements about their truth. And, I understand that 100%. It’s hard to say, “Hey, look at me, I’m not perfect!” When, deep down inside, I think we all want to create a perception that we are. After all, society, our media, ourselves; we all hold each other to a standard that is plain old unrealistic. If we are never good enough for each other, how can we be good enough for ourselves?
Some of you know I have been divorced four years. I was in the best shape of my life at the end of my marriage. Slowly and for many reasons I gained weight. Regardless, I threw myself back into “living”. I started dating. Can I tell you how many men told me if I lost weight, I’d be hot? Meaning…I’d be worthwhile to date. My initial response was to run home, curl-up in bed and eat! Therefore getting fatter and gaining less favor with the ever-so visually motivated opposite sex. And, can I tell you most of the men who made these comments were no prize themselves and obviously lacking manners! No matter the shallow-idiot who said such things, those comments hurt to hear. Yes, I do need to loose weight! And, with each of those dates, I dropped 225 pounds or more just walking away and saying “best wishes”. If only it were that easy to loose the extra belly fat, the muffin-top and the double chin!
So, with each of these blogs I’m suppose to gain more power to strive toward my goal. I’m also suppose to share what I am learning about my journey, and in some poetic way expressly motivate you too. Well, I am no expert on anything. I do know this. The best part of me is not my exterior. I’m not sure what the best part of me is as it changes with knowledge and age. But, no matter the critics, even the ones inside of me…I will continue to listen to that inner voice that whispers, “Amy, you are worthwhile…” and, to the other inner voice that shouts, “So, get your arse to the gym!”